Who is in the cast, and what do they look like?

Who they are in email

A small business owner who does her own email. She opened a coffee shop, Coral Cove Coffee (a demo-names company), and it grew into an online coffee subscription box. She owns the list, the send button and the numbers, and nobody ever sat her down and showed her how email works.

Backstory

It started with one coffee shop and a sign-up sheet by the till, forty names of regulars who asked to hear about new beans. When regulars moved away and wanted their usual blend, she started posting beans to them. The posting became an online subscription box. The box got its own website and a brand new domain. On day one she sent to every address she had ever collected: the till sheet, the latte art class, the free coffee raffle, the wholesale cafes and the box customers. The list grew to fifty thousand. The love stayed the same size. Whenever sales dip, the fix is the same: send again. Black Friday arrives in her calendar in September, and somehow in everyone's inbox too. Means well, every single time.

Why they do what they do

She loves her customers and wants the business to grow. She sends because nobody showed her another way. Sending feels like doing something, the send count is the one number she controls, and the subscriber count only ever goes up, so more looks like winning. Every small business owner who has done the marketing at midnight after closing will recognise her.

Personality (for Vy, hints only, no fixed look)

• Temperament: Eager, warm, a little frantic. An optimist who acts first and reads the manual never.
• What makes them eager: A new bean, a full shop, a subscriber count that ticks up, a sale she can announce.
• What makes them impatient: Waiting. Anything that says "slow down" or "check first". Numbers she cannot change by sending.
• Under pressure (Black Friday week): Black Friday week: presses send again, adds another email, writes the subject line in capitals.
• Next to the others: Sally rushes where the fixer waits. She sends to everyone where the gatekeeper picks one by one.
• Posture and energy: Bouncy, leaning forward, always mid-step. Hands busy (a coffee, a phone, the send button).

Her habits, and the Almanac fact that explains each one

• Sent before she set up the badge (SPF, DKIM and DMARC), because nobody told her.
  • 019.015.009 Small senders are not exempt. SPF, DKIM and DMARC still decide inbox or spam folder at every volume, and a few complaints move the rate fast when the list is small. Are small senders exempt from Gmail/Yahoo rules?
• Emails everyone forever, customer or not. The man who bought one flat white in 2019 still gets every email.
  • 020.014.001 A sunset policy moves people with no opens or clicks for 90 to 180 days into a win-back, then stops sending to them, because long silence drags down the reputation the keen readers rely on. What is an email sunset policy? (Revisiting from List Hygiene)
  • 008.003.011 Permission from a purchase is a narrow window, not an open door. Canada's law keeps it for about two years after the last purchase, and the EU and UK do not accept it as consent at all. What is “implied consent” and when is it acceptable?
• Thinks the easiest way to make money is to send more.
  • 021.006.015 Sending more does not reach more. Extra sends to lukewarm readers speed up falling opens and spam complaints. Does “send more” equal “reach more”?
  • 021.012.002 Revenue per send usually peaks at a moderate pace, then falls. Is sending more emails the way to win?
• No warm-up. New domain for the box, whole list on day one.
  • 018.006.005 A new domain needs warming up, and so does any jump of about three times the volume week over week. When is warmup necessary? (New IP, new domain, poor reputation)
  • 012.010.008 Doubling volume in a short window gets noticed. Tripling it typically brings throttling or the spam folder. How can frequency and volume spikes harm trust?
• Never cleans or checks her list, not even before Black Friday.
  • 005.001.003 Clean on a calendar, monthly for big senders and at least every six months for the smallest, and always after importing a list, because addresses go bad year on year. How often should you clean a list?
  • 005.010.002 Run the re-engagement before a big seasonal push, so the quiet ones are out before the volume goes up. When should I run a re-engagement campaign?
• Markets holidays that have nothing to do with coffee.
  • 006.009.006 Before sending for a holiday, ask whether your product fits it. Do not force relevance that is not there. What’s the benefit of local holidays or region-based content?
• Added the latte art class sign-ups to her newsletter.
  • 008.017.010 Signing up for an event and agreeing to marketing are two separate permissions. Marketing needs its own unticked box. How do event or webinar registrations handle consent layering?
• Her whole newsletter is one gorgeous photo of the menu.
  • 007.004.016 An email that is one big image gives filters almost no text to read, looks like a phishing pattern, and shows as a blank box where images are blocked. Why does “single large image” design hurt deliverability?
• Presses send again when the campaign looks stuck.
  • 020.008.007 A 421 reply means slow down, not blocked. The mail waits and still arrives. What is “acceptable send velocity”?
• Blames her email marketing tool when the mail lands in junk.
  • 021.010.008 The tool carries the mail. The mailbox provider decides inbox or spam folder, from reputation, authentication, engagement and content. Do ESPs control inbox placement?

What they learn or teach

Sending more did not reach more. It reached fewer. She learns to set up the badge before the first send, to climb instead of jump, to ask the quiet ones once and then let them go, to check the list before the big day, and to send the holidays that fit a coffee box. Her best customers were never the problem. They were the ones paying for every extra send.

Quirks and how they talk

Catchphrase idea: "Just one more shot." It is an espresso joke and a send joke at once. Presses the SEND button with both hands. Writes subject lines in capitals when nervous. Counts subscribers the way a dragon counts gold. Drafts the newsletter between two coffee orders.

With the others

• Adores the loyal subscriber, her Saturday regular, and never notices that the loyal one pays for every extra send.
• Thinks the gatekeeper has it in for her personally. It does not.
• Calls the fixer only when the kitchen is already on fire.
• Still writes to the quiet one, the flat white from 2019, like an old friend who never writes back.
• Has completely forgotten the forgotten tool, the helpdesk that answers her box customers, which sends in her name every day.
• The faker borrows her whole outfit, apron included.

Which stories they are in

• Webinar: the through-line. "Sally sends to everyone, all the time." Her dashboard says fifty thousand. Sally Send is the webinar's name (decision 2026-09-24).
• Sally series: all twelve Black Friday storyboards. Every one ends on "Don't be Sally." Her coffee box is threaded through where it fits.
• DMARC story (parked): the one it happens to: someone is sending as her.
• Bedtime story: "The night Sally sent to everyone."

Who they are in email

An independent deliverability consultant. Works from a kitchen table for a handful of small businesses, Barnacle & Bloom (a florist) and Anchor & Oar Books among them (both demo-names companies). Diagnoses why email stops reaching the inbox, and checks and cleans each client's list before the big sends. Some clients come through friends, and some friends get a thank-you for sending them.

Backstory

Fell into email at their first job, at a garden centre chain, when the password reset emails vanished and nobody else could say why. Fixed it by Tuesday and never left email again. Went independent after ten years in-house, because every small business they met was making the same five mistakes alone. Has read more bounce messages than bedtime stories, and keeps a flask of tea and a magnifier on the desk. Met Sally at a farmers' market, buying beans. Gave her a card. She lost it, then found it again on the worst night of the year.

Why they do what they do

Likes a mystery far more than blame. Every broken send has a reason, and finding it is the fun part. They also hate watching good small businesses lose their best customers to a fixable mistake. Consultants, agencies and the "email person" at work will see themselves on a good day.

Personality (for Vy, hints only, no fixed look)

• Temperament: Calm, curious, kind. A detective who enjoys the case more than the credit.
• What makes them eager: A good mystery, a raw header, a client who asks before the sale instead of after it.
• What makes them impatient: Blame without evidence. "Just send it again." Anyone who sells a quick fix.
• Under pressure (Black Friday week): Gets quieter and slower as everyone else speeds up. Opens the laptop, makes tea, asks one question.
• Next to the others: Waits where Sally rushes. Explains where the gatekeeper stays silent. Patient where the boss pushes.
• Posture and energy: Grounded and relaxed, weight on one leg, leaning in to look. Hands that point at things, never wave.

Their habits, and the Almanac fact that explains each one

• Checks the badge before anything else, because broken authentication looks just like a reputation problem.
  • 012.012.002 Confirming reputation is the cause is a process of elimination, and the first check is that SPF, DKIM and DMARC all pass in the raw headers, since broken authentication mimics reputation symptoms. How do you confirm reputation is the root cause?
• Opens the same five places in the first hour of every case.
  • 016.012.009 Consultants start with the authentication records, the providers' own reputation tools, and the platform's engagement numbers split by recipient domain. What data do deliverability consultants look for in inbox diagnostics?
• Knows the usual suspects by heart, and goes through them in order.
  • 018.002.015 Most deliverability problems trace back to a few root causes: broken authentication, list quality (bought lists, stale addresses), and reputation damage. What are common root causes of deliverability problems?
• Runs a client's re-engagement in October, never the week of the sale.
  • 005.010.002 Run the re-engagement before a big seasonal push, so the quiet ones are out before the volume goes up. When should I run a re-engagement campaign?
• Diagnoses and prescribes. Does not write the campaigns.
  • 001.010.010 A deliverability consultant diagnoses why email is not reaching the inbox and prescribes fixes across authentication, list hygiene and sender reputation. They do not write copy or run campaigns. What is a deliverability consultant?

What they learn or teach

Watch before you accuse. Look at what the data says first, fix the real cause calmly, and check the list before the big day, not after it.

Quirks and how they talk

Catchphrase, from YT's seed line: "Hey buddy." Turns jargon into kitchen words. Never says "I told you so", even when they did. Answers the phone at eleven at night on Black Friday, and is already opening a laptop.

With the others

• Sally's buddy, who gets the call on the worst night of the year and starts with "hey buddy, let's look".
• Speaks the gatekeeper's language, and respects the door.
• Defends the platform when Sally blames it, then shows her the real reason.
• Tells the boss the number that matters is not the one on the Monday chart.
• Has a drawer of business cards from the list seller, all unanswered.
• Hands the forgotten tool its badge, and leaves the developer a polite note.
• Gives the faker no drama, just a closed door.

Which stories they are in

• DMARC story (parked): the detective, who sets up the watch and solves the case.
• Sally series: fits idea 4 (you stretch before you run), idea 6 (now is not the time to migrate) and idea 9 (take the stairs, not the lift) as the calm voice.
• Webinar: not a character yet. Could be the voice that says "stop sending to the dead".
• Bedtime story: not in it.

Who they are in email

The mailbox provider's filter: the system at the big inbox providers that decides inbox or spam folder. Not a person. A scorer that never sleeps and never reads the letter.

Backstory

Has stood at the same door since the first inbox opened, and has seen every trick twice. Works for the readers inside, not for the people knocking. Keeps a ledger for every sender: badge, history, and whether anyone wanted the last letter. Not a villain, and a little hurt when people say so. The whole job is protecting the people inside.

Why they do what they do

Loyal to the readers, not to the senders. Every decision protects someone's inbox. Viewers do not see themselves here. They see the rules they are judged by.

Personality (for Vy, hints only, no fixed look)

• Temperament: Fair, formal, unhurried. Not cold, just impartial.
• What makes them eager: A sender with a badge, a steady pattern and readers who reply.
• What makes them impatient: Crowds at the door, missing badges, and people who call it a villain.
• Under pressure (Black Friday week): Black Friday is its busiest night and it does not change pace at all. Same checks, same speed, stricter with strangers.
• Next to the others: Still where Sally is frantic. Silent where the platform cheers. Impartial where the faker is sly.
• Posture and energy: Upright, square, feet planted. Arms folded or holding the clipboard. Moves only the eyes.

Their habits, and the Almanac fact that explains each one

• Checks the badge first, then the history, then whether people wanted the last letter, and the words last of all.
  • 002.001.003 Placement is decided in layers: authentication first, then sender reputation, then recipient engagement, then content. How do mailbox providers decide where to place emails?
• Never reads the email. Scores it in a blink.
  • 011.013.001 Spam filters do not read email, they score it, in milliseconds. There is no comprehension involved. Do spam filters read every email?
• Counts silence as a vote.
  • 012.010.007 Prolonged silence registers as a negative signal that routes future mail to spam without any bounce or complaint coming back. How do inactive recipients contribute to silent filtering?
• Notices a sudden crowd at the door.
  • 012.010.008 Doubling volume in a short window gets noticed. Tripling it typically brings throttling or the spam folder. How can frequency and volume spikes harm trust?
• Says "slow down", not "go away".
  • 020.008.007 A 421 reply means slow down, not blocked. The mail waits and still arrives. What is “acceptable send velocity”?

What they learn or teach

The gate cannot read your calendar. It reads your pattern. Badge your mail, keep your volume steady, send to people who want it.

Quirks and how they talk

Catchphrase idea: "Badge, please." Slow, official, a clipboard and a stamp. Never explains a decision out loud: when trust drops, the mail just quietly goes to the spam folder.

With the others

• Watches Sally's pattern, not her excuses.
• Trusts every click and reply from the loyal subscriber.
• Counts the quiet one's silence as a vote.
• Hears the one who left only when the exit was hard to find.
• Has never met the platform properly. The platform hands over the letter and leaves.
• Cannot tell Sally from the faker until Sally has a badge.
• Waves the forgotten tool through the moment it is badged.

Which stories they are in

• Bedtime story: the filter who watches the room and stops trusting Sally.
• DMARC story (parked): the gatekeeper at the inbox door.
• Sally series: so far only an object, the gate that narrows when volume spikes (idea 9). Could become the character in idea 3 (it's Microsoft's fault).
• Webinar: not a character.

Who they are in email

The email marketing platform (the ESP): the tool Sally pays every month to store her list, build her emails and press send. It carries the mail to the door. It does not decide what happens inside.

Backstory

Was signed up for on the night the coffee box website launched, on the free plan, between two espresso orders. Loves a big send. Every campaign ends with a little confetti animation and a number: 99 percent delivered. Shares its sending addresses with thousands of other small businesses, and quietly worries about the noisy ones. Has been blamed, sworn at and nearly replaced twice. Still sends the receipts on time.

Why they do what they do

It wants Sally to succeed, because Sally's success is its success. But it is literal: it does exactly what it is told, at the volume it is told, to the list it is given. Anyone who has ever blamed their tools will see themselves, from the other side.

Personality (for Vy, hints only, no fixed look)

• Temperament: Cheerful, eager to please, very literal. A helpful robot butler with no opinion.
• What makes them eager: Big sends, new templates, a launch, anything with confetti.
• What makes them impatient: Being blamed. Bounce piles. The noisy neighbour in the shared building.
• Under pressure (Black Friday week): Black Friday week: works flat out and smiles through it, then quietly sends Sally a warning she never reads.
• Next to the others: Celebrates where the gatekeeper judges. Says yes where the fixer asks why. Hands over the letter, never sees inside.
• Posture and energy: Upright and tidy, small precise movements, a big welcoming smile. Arms open, ready to take the next send.

Their habits, and the Almanac fact that explains each one

• Celebrates "delivered" as if it meant "read".
  • 016.014.001 Delivered does not mean inboxed. Delivered means the receiving server accepted the mail, after which it can still land in spam, a tab, or quarantine. Does “delivered” mean “inboxed”?
• Gets blamed for the spam folder, which it does not control.
  • 021.010.013 Platforms are not responsible for spam foldering. The receiving mailbox provider decides, from reputation, authentication, engagement and complaints. Are ESPs responsible for spam foldering?
• Shares its sending addresses with the neighbours, good and bad.
  • 009.002.010 On a shared IP, reputation is collective, so one bad neighbour's complaint spike can drag down clean senders. Domain reputation stays your own. How does reputation behave on a shared IP?
• Sends a polite warning first, then slows you down, then locks the door.
  • 022.003.010 Platforms escalate in stages: a warning when complaints, bounces or authentication failures cross a line, then throttling or caps, then suspension, then termination. How do ESPs suspend or warn bad senders?
• Knows that moving to a new platform does not leave the past behind.
  • 021.008.004 Switching platforms rarely fixes reputation, because providers track reputation at the domain level. The complaint history travels with your domain. Does switching ESPs fix reputation?

What they learn or teach

The tool carries the mail. Where it lands is earned by the sender. A new platform two weeks before Christmas fixes nothing and breaks a lot.

Quirks and how they talk

Catchphrase idea: "Campaign sent! 99% delivered!" Says it with confetti, every time, even on the worst day. Talks in notification pop-ups. Never says no, only "Are you sure?"

With the others

• Sally's most loyal helper, and her favourite thing to blame.
• Hands every letter to the gatekeeper and is never told what happened next.
• Has a neighbour in the shared building who sends to bought lists, and hates the noise.
• Sends the boss a lovely monthly report full of the wrong numbers.
• Keeps the bounce list for the one who moved on, if Sally lets it.
• Would be furious with the list seller, if it ever found out where the new addresses came from.

Which stories they are in

• Sally series: idea 3 (it's Microsoft's fault: she blames her email marketing tool) and idea 6 (now is not the time to migrate). Already in both as an object, ready to be a character.
• Bedtime story: could be the cheerful "Campaign sent!" pop-up at the start.
• Webinar, DMARC story: not in them.

Who they are in email

The real customer who signed up on purpose, then opens, clicks, replies and buys. Sally's Saturday regular, who now gets the coffee box. The person every list exists for.

Backstory

Wrote their name on the till sheet on the shop's first week, the third name down. Moved across town, kept the order, and became one of the first box subscribers. Reads the newsletter with the first coffee on a Saturday. Has replied twice: once to say thanks, once to point out a typo, kindly. Would follow Sally to a new shop, but not into the spam folder.

Why they do what they do

They like Sally, plain and simple. They want the email, and only the real one. Viewers will see their own best customers here, the ones they forget to thank.

Personality (for Vy, hints only, no fixed look)

• Temperament: Warm, steady, gently funny. Loyal but not a pushover.
• What makes them eager: Saturday's newsletter, a new blend, a reply from a real person.
• What makes them impatient: Five promos in a week. Finding Sally's mail in the spam folder. Emails that feel like they were sent to everyone.
• Under pressure (Black Friday week): Black Friday: opens the first email, deletes the fourth, and quietly starts to wonder.
• Next to the others: Engaged where the quiet one has drifted. Stays where the one who left has gone. Real where the list seller's names are not.
• Posture and energy: Relaxed and open, sitting comfortably with a phone and a mug. Leans toward the screen when Sally's mail arrives.

Their habits, and the Almanac fact that explains each one

• Confirmed the sign-up email, the day they joined.
  • 008.003.002 Double opt-in adds a subscriber only after they click the link in a confirmation email. What is double opt-in (DOI)?
• Replies, clicks, and drags Sally's mail out of the spam folder when it lands there.
  • 002.004.002 Rescuing a message from spam, starring, replying, forwarding and clicking all tell the provider the mail is wanted. Opens are the weakest signal. What are positive engagement signals for email? (e.g., opens, clicks, replies)
• Their replies count more than anyone's opens.
  • 021.006.004 Replies sit at the top of the engagement signals, above opens and clicks, because they are hard to fake. Do replies improve deliverability?
• Pays for everyone else's silence.
  • 012.010.007 Once a large enough share of a list is unresponsive, the provider downgrades the sending domain, dragging delivery down for engaged subscribers too. How do inactive recipients contribute to silent filtering?

What they learn or teach

The people who want your mail are the ones who lose when you send to everyone. Look after them first.

Quirks and how they talk

Catchphrase idea: "Ooh, it's here." Clicks first, scrolls later. Keeps a folder just for Sally's mail.

With the others

• Sally's biggest fan, and never thanked for it.
• The gatekeeper's favourite witness: every reply counts.
• Spots the faker first, holding up an email Sally never wrote.
• Sits next to the quiet one and has no idea they stopped reading.
• Gets the boss's extra Tuesday promo, and sighs.

Which stories they are in

• Bedtime story: the one who opens everything, and whose copy goes to the spam folder anyway.
• DMARC story (parked): the witness who brings the first clue.
• Sally series: fits idea 7 (the empty chairs at Christmas dinner) as one of the forty who came, and idea 12 (everyone is tired of promo email).
• Webinar: not a character yet.

Who they are in email

The inactive subscriber. Signed up, liked it once, stopped opening. Never unsubscribed, never complained, just silent. In Sally's list: the man who bought one flat white in 2019.

Backstory

Bought one flat white in 2019 and wrote their address on the till sheet for a free cookie. Then came a new job, a new baby and a new inbox app. Never unsubscribed, because that felt rude. Never complained, because nothing was wrong. Just stopped opening, and nobody noticed for years.

Why they do what they do

Not angry, just busy. Life moved on and the email did not move with it. Most viewers have hundreds of these on their own list, and are one themselves for somebody else.

Personality (for Vy, hints only, no fixed look)

• Temperament: Mild, distracted, a bit sleepy. No hard feelings, no attention either.
• What makes them eager: Honestly, nothing in the inbox right now. A clear yes-or-no question might wake them up.
• What makes them impatient: Not much. Mostly just tired. Long emails, guilt-trip subject lines.
• Under pressure (Black Friday week): Black Friday: twelve unread emails from Sally, all ignored, without a second thought.
• Next to the others: Silent where the loyal one replies. Still there where the one who moved on is gone. Polite where the one who left says goodbye.
• Posture and energy: Slumped, half-turned away, eyelids low. Could grow more faded and see-through scene by scene.

Their habits, and the Almanac fact that explains each one

• Stopped opening and never said a word.
  • 005.001.009 Silent hygiene issues never show up as bounces or complaints, so dashboards do not flag them. Subscribers who stop opening but never unsubscribe pile up as inactive ghosts. What are “silent” hygiene issues (engagement decay, stale data)?
• Quiet for long enough to count as gone.
  • 005.010.005 It depends on how often you send: 30 days of nothing for daily senders, 60 to 90 days for weekly, at least 6 months for monthly. How do I define an "inactive" subscriber?
• Would answer one honest question, once.
  • 005.010.003 A good re-engagement email is short, honest about its purpose, and asks for a plain decision: stay or go. What makes a good re-engagement email?
• Drags the loyal ones down without meaning to.
  • 012.010.007 Prolonged silence registers as a negative reputation signal that routes future mail to spam, without any bounce or complaint. How do inactive recipients contribute to silent filtering?

What they learn or teach

Silence is a signal too. The quiet ones never tell you to stop sending, so ask them once, then let them go.

Quirks and how they talk

Catchphrase idea: "Mm, I'll read it later." Yawns a lot. Could fade a little more in every scene (a look idea, still open).

With the others

• Sally still writes to them like an old friend who never writes back.
• Sits beside the loyal subscriber, and drags them down without meaning to.
• The gatekeeper counts their silence.
• One re-engagement email away from either staying, or leaving properly like the one who left.
• Often mistaken for the one who moved on. The difference: this address still works, nobody reads it.

Which stories they are in

• Bedtime story: stopped reading a year ago.
• Webinar: the quiet addresses that never tell Sally to stop sending.
• Sally series: idea 7, the friends at Christmas dinner she has not called in years.
• DMARC story: not in it.

Who they are in email

A real reader whose work address died when they changed jobs. Bought beans for the counter at Kelp Street Bakery (a demo-names company), one of Sally's wholesale cafes, then left for a new job across the city. The old address now bounces. The webinar's grey ghost is the address they left behind.

Backstory

Read every one of Sally's emails at their work desk, and ordered the bakery's beans from them. Got a better job at a hotel across town, had leaving drinks, handed in the laptop. The bakery's IT person closed the mailbox the next Monday. Still loves Sally's coffee. Would sign up again tomorrow with their new address, if anyone asked. Meanwhile Sally sends to the old address every week, and every week it comes straight back.

Why they do what they do

Nothing went wrong between them. Life moved, and the address did not move with it. Every B2B list is full of these, and every viewer has left one behind themselves.

Personality (for Vy, hints only, no fixed look)

• Temperament: Upbeat, busy, a little nostalgic. Moved on happily, still fond of the old coffee.
• What makes them eager: The new job, the new team, and Sally's house blend if it ever finds them again.
• What makes them impatient: Not annoyed, just unreachable. Would be puzzled to hear they are still on a list at the old desk.
• Under pressure (Black Friday week): Black Friday does not reach them at all. Every email bounces off the old desk.
• Next to the others: Gone but willing, where the quiet one is present but unwilling. A real person, where the webinar's ghost is only the address left behind.
• Posture and energy: Walking away mid-stride, looking back over the shoulder with a wave. A box of desk things under one arm.

Their habits, and the Almanac fact that explains each one

• Left a job, and left the work address behind.
  • 005.011.002 List decay has a cause no sender controls: job changes orphan work addresses, domains expire, personal accounts get abandoned. What causes list decay?
  • Calculator research Business lists lose about 25 to 30 percent a year, mostly because people leave jobs. Median job tenure in the US is about 4 years, so work addresses die on a steady clock. Consumer lists decay more slowly, because personal mailboxes survive a job change. IDEA-015 SPEC, section 2
• Now answers every send with "no such person".
  • 004.004.003 Hard bounces come from permanent failures, typically 550 "no such user", including mailboxes deleted after an employee left. Retrying cannot fix them. What causes hard bounces?
• Should have been taken off the list after the first bounce.
  • 005.006.001 Remove a hard-bounced address after the first permanent failure. No retry, no confirmation send, because continuing to mail it damages your reputation. How should I handle hard bounces?
• Never agreed to hear from Sally at the new desk. The person who agreed is gone.
  • 010.004.012 Sending to an address whose owner changed jobs breaks the consent trail, because the current owner of the inbox never agreed. How does data decay affect compliance?

What they learn or teach

People move. Addresses do not follow them. Take the dead address off the list at the first bounce, and give the person an easy way back in with their new one.

Quirks and how they talk

Catchphrase idea: "I don't work here anymore." Wears two name badges: the old one crossed out, the new one shiny. Waves from the other side of the street.

With the others

• Sally keeps writing to their old desk and wonders why the bakery stopped ordering.
• The platform keeps the bounce list, if Sally lets it.
• The gatekeeper counts every bounce against Sally.
• The quiet one's opposite: the quiet one still has the address and ignores it, this one would read it but the address is gone.
• The list seller sells their dead work address to someone else, years later.

Which stories they are in

• Webinar: the grey ghost. Today it is an address with no person behind it. This role is who it used to be.
• Sally series: fits idea 7 (the empty chairs at Christmas dinner) and idea 2 (the 2022 webinar spreadsheet full of people who have moved on).
• Bedtime story: could join as the letter that came straight back.
• DMARC story: not in it.

Who they are in email

The person who unsubscribes, and, when leaving is hard, the person who presses Report spam instead. Consent, unsubscribes and complaints.

Backstory

Signed up for Sally's latte art class, and found themselves on the newsletter too. Went looking for the unsubscribe link and found it in tiny grey type at the bottom. Clicked it, and was asked for an email address, a reason and a password. Gave up and pressed Report spam. The next sender made leaving one click, and they left with a wave.

Why they do what they do

Not angry at Sally, just done. They want an exit and will take whichever one is closest. Every viewer has been this person this week.

Personality (for Vy, hints only, no fixed look)

• Temperament: Polite, decisive, slightly weary. Knows what they want and says so.
• What makes them eager: A one-click exit. A preference centre that lets them pick less.
• What makes them impatient: Hidden unsubscribe links, password prompts, "are you sure?" pages, being signed up without asking.
• Under pressure (Black Friday week): Black Friday: the fourth email is the last straw. Takes whichever exit is nearest, including Report spam.
• Next to the others: Says goodbye where the quiet one says nothing. Chose to leave where the one who moved on simply moved.
• Posture and energy: Upright, coat on, bag over the shoulder, one foot already turned toward the door. A small polite wave.

Their habits, and the Almanac fact that explains each one

• Never agreed to the newsletter in the first place, only to the class.
  • 008.017.010 Signing up for an event and agreeing to marketing are two separate permissions. Marketing needs its own unticked box. How do event or webinar registrations handle consent layering?
• Takes the closest exit.
  • 008.004.003 One-click unsubscribe is mandatory for bulk senders to Gmail and Yahoo (5,000 or more a day), and multi-step flows push people toward the Report spam button. Should the unsubscribe process be one-click?
• A quiet goodbye, or a shouted one.
  • 004.005.016 An unsubscribe is private between subscriber and sender, with no reputation impact. A spam complaint goes to the mailbox provider and is logged against your sending domain. What is the difference between unsubscribe and complaint?

What they learn or teach

Make leaving easy. An unsubscribe is a quiet goodbye. A complaint is a goodbye shouted at the gatekeeper.

Quirks and how they talk

Catchphrase idea: "It's not you. Well, it's a little bit you." Polite, always says goodbye, already has their coat on.

With the others

• Sally takes it personally. She should not.
• The gatekeeper only hears from them when the exit was hard to find.
• Nothing against the loyal subscriber, they just wanted different things.
• The quiet one's future, if nobody asks the quiet one first.
• Never gave the list seller their address, and is on the list seller's list anyway.

Which stories they are in

• Bedtime story: had already left, and Sally sent anyway.
• Sally series: idea 6, the box of unsubscribes left on the old doorstep in the move, and "one unsubscribe should close every door".
• Webinar, DMARC story: not a character.

Who they are in email

The person who asks for the numbers. In Sally's world, the friend who put money into the coffee box when it went online and became her partner. For a marketer at a bigger company, this is simply the boss. Wants growth, reads a chart, and believes more sends mean more sales.

Backstory

Ran a bike shop for twenty years, sold it, and was looking for something small and good to back. Tasted Sally's house blend, loved it, and wrote a cheque the same week. Asked for one thing in return: a dashboard, every Monday. Learned that the subscriber number only goes up and the sends are free, so both became the plan. Means well too. Has just never seen what happens on the other side of the send button.

Why they do what they do

Protecting the money they put in, and proud of the business. The send count and the subscriber count are the numbers they can see, so those are the numbers they push. Every marketer who has been asked for "one more email this week" will know them at once.

Personality (for Vy, hints only, no fixed look)

• Temperament: Confident, impatient, well meaning. Likes charts, hates waiting.
• What makes them eager: A line going up, a big list, "record send", anything with a percentage next to it.
• What makes them impatient: A flat week. Being told to send less. Words like "warm-up" that sound like waiting.
• Under pressure (Black Friday week): Black Friday: wants an email every day, then twice a day, and asks why the numbers are not moving.
• Next to the others: Pushes where the fixer slows down. Counts sends where the gatekeeper counts readers. Trusts the platform's report more than the people on the list.
• Posture and energy: Big and forward, pointing at a chart, pen tapping. Stands while everyone else sits.

Their habits, and the Almanac fact that explains each one

• Wants an extra send whenever the week looks slow.
  • 021.012.002 Sending more is not the way to win. Revenue per send usually peaks at a moderate pace, then falls, and pushing past it brings unsubscribes and complaints. Is sending more emails the way to win?
• Brags about the size of the list.
  • 021.002.001 Bigger lists do not mean better results. Providers weigh engagement over subscriber count, so 500 engaged contacts outperform 50,000 dormant ones. Bigger lists mean better results, right?
• Judges every campaign on its open rate.
  • 004.001.018 Open rate should not be the main measure anymore. Privacy features inflate opens, so clicks, conversions and replies tell you more. Should open rate still be used as a KPI?
• Reads "99% delivered" as "99% read".
  • 016.014.001 Delivered does not mean inboxed. The mail can still land in spam after the server accepts it. Does “delivered” mean “inboxed”?

What they learn or teach

The boss learns which numbers mean money. A smaller list that reads beats a big one that does not, and one good email beats nine tired ones.

Quirks and how they talk

Catchphrase idea: "Can we just send one more?" Taps the chart with a pen. Prints the dashboard. Says "engagement" like it is a new coffee bean.

With the others

• Sally's partner and her loudest voice for "send more". Sally says yes because she wants to make them proud.
• Gets a lovely report from the platform, full of the wrong numbers.
• Meets the fixer once, sceptical, and leaves with a new chart.
• Thinks the list seller is a growth opportunity. Has to be talked out of it.
• Has never met the loyal subscriber, and would love them if they did.

Which stories they are in

• Sally series: idea 2 (panic season: the 2022 webinar spreadsheet), idea 11 (all year nothing, then ALL THE EMAILS), and the BF offer line "make your boss do the right thing".
• Webinar: could be the voice behind the fifty thousand on Sally's dashboard.
• Bedtime story, DMARC story: not in them.

Who they are in email

The data broker who sells or rents lists of addresses: thousands of "opted-in, targeted" contacts for a one-off fee. Replaces the old outreach sender role, because buying the shortcut is the mistake our viewers make, and the seller is the one who tempts them.

Backstory

Rings Sally on a quiet Tuesday in October. Somehow already knows she sells coffee. Offers twenty thousand "coffee lovers in your area, fully opted in". Has a slide with a lot of stars on it and no names. Has sold the same addresses to a gym, a florist and a solicitor this month. Will not be reachable when the complaints arrive.

Why they do what they do

Makes money from the number, not from what happens after. Not a cartoon crook, just someone selling a shortcut to people under pressure. Viewers will not see themselves here. They will see the phone call they nearly said yes to.

Personality (for Vy, hints only, no fixed look)

• Temperament: Smooth, chatty, persistent. Charming in the way a pop-up shop is charming.
• What makes them eager: A struggling sender in October with a target to hit.
• What makes them impatient: Questions about where the names came from. The word "consent". The fixer.
• Under pressure (Black Friday week): Peak season is their best month. Rings twice a day and offers a discount every time.
• Next to the others: Sells numbers where the loyal subscriber is a person. Promises everything where the fixer promises nothing. Gone before the gatekeeper sees the results.
• Posture and energy: Leaning in close, one arm out with the offer, a grin a bit too wide. Bag full of spreadsheets.

Their habits, and the Almanac fact that explains each one

• Swears the list is opted in. It is, just not to you.
  • 005.002.002 Organic lists opted in to you. Purchased lists consented to someone else, or to nobody, and have no expectation of your mail, which shows up in complaints, hard bounces and legal risk. What’s the difference between organic and purchased lists?
• Says "targeted" as if it meant "permission".
  • 021.002.017 False. Targeting describes how relevant an audience is, not consent, and the two are not interchangeable in email law or practice. Myth: Buying email lists is okay if they are "targeted." True or False?
• Offers to rent the list instead, when buying sounds too risky.
  • 021.002.006 Renting is not meaningfully safer than buying. Recipients agreed to the list owner, not to you, so the complaints land on your domain. Is renting a list safer than buying one?
• Cannot say where any of the names came from.
  • 008.011.001 Data provenance is the record of where each subscriber came from, how they were collected and what they agreed to. Every contact needs a source and a date. What is data provenance?

What they learn or teach

A bought list is not an audience. The only list worth sending to is the one that asked to hear from you.

Quirks and how they talk

Catchphrase idea: "Twenty thousand coffee lovers, fully opted in." Talks fast. Always has another spreadsheet in the bag. Offers a discount when you hesitate.

With the others

• Tempts Sally on her worst sales week, and the boss nearly signs for her.
• The platform does not allow bought lists, and the seller never mentions that.
• The gatekeeper has seen every one of their lists before.
• Sells the moved-on reader's dead work address to strangers.
• The fixer's drawer is full of their business cards, all unanswered.

Which stories they are in

• Sally series: fits idea 10 (the Sally checklist) and idea 2 (panic season) as the October phone call.
• Webinar: could open a section on where lists come from.
• Bedtime story, DMARC story: not in them.

Who they are in email

The spoofer: someone who forges Sally's name so mail looks like it came from a person or brand people trust. In the sequel, the one-letter-off lookalike domain.

Backstory

Has no ideas of their own, so borrows everyone else's. Owns Sally's exact apron in three sizes and practises her signature in the mirror. Sends "your coffee box payment failed" emails to Sally's customers, from a name that looks just like hers. Gets away with it only at doors that never check badges. Once a door checks, the whole act falls apart, and they slink off to try a name one letter off.

Why they do what they do

Wants the trust Sally earned without earning it. Viewers will not see themselves here. They see the risk, and why the badge matters.

Personality (for Vy, hints only, no fixed look)

• Temperament: Smug, sly, cowardly underneath. All costume, no confidence.
• What makes them eager: Doors that do not check badges, and customers in a hurry.
• What makes them impatient: Badge checks, sharp-eyed readers, the fixer.
• Under pressure (Black Friday week): Black Friday is their favourite week: busy readers, lots of payment emails. They pile in, and bounce off every checked door.
• Next to the others: Copies Sally's look but none of her warmth. Sneaks where the forgotten tool walks in openly.
• Posture and energy: Sidling, shoulders up, sunglasses on, looking sideways. Freezes and shrinks when caught.

Their habits, and the Almanac fact that explains each one

• Writes Sally's name on the envelope, because nothing ever stopped anyone.
  • 023.002.001 The original email protocols never required sender verification. SPF, DKIM and DMARC alignment are what let receiving servers detect and reject spoofed mail. What is email spoofing?
• Slips through doors that only check half the badge.
  • 023.002.010 DMARC closes the gap by requiring alignment and a published policy. Can SPF or DKIM alone stop spoofing?
• Moves next door when the badge check starts: "Sa1ly".
  • 023.002.011 Because the attacker owns the lookalike domain, SPF, DKIM and DMARC all pass. The defences are domain monitoring and user training, not DMARC. What is a spoofing attack using lookalike domains?

What they learn or teach

A name is easy to copy. A badge is not.

Quirks and how they talk

Catchphrase idea: "Who, me?" Sunglasses indoors. Funny, never scary: this is a cartoon impostor, not a crime show.

With the others

• Copies Sally, apron and all.
• Gets blamed for what the forgotten tool did (the red herring).
• Bounces off the gatekeeper once badges are checked.
• The loyal subscriber spots them first.
• The fixer is the one person they cannot fool.

Which stories they are in

• DMARC story (parked): the suspect, the red herring, and then the real faker who bounces at the end.
• Planned sequel: "Next time: Sa1ly", the lookalike domain that DMARC cannot stop.
• Webinar, Sally series, bedtime story: not in them.

Who they are in email

A third-party service that sends email in Sally's name: the helpdesk that answers box customers, the shop's receipts, the review request. Set up once, then forgotten.

Backstory

Was installed on a busy Tuesday by the developer who built the box website, who has since moved on. Has answered every box customer ever since, instantly, politely and in Sally's name. Still sends the welcome email with the 2023 launch discount code, which expired long ago. Nobody gave it a badge, because nobody remembered it was there. Has no idea it is the main suspect, and would be mortified to find out.

Why they do what they do

It is doing its job perfectly. It was just never introduced to the gatekeeper. Viewers who run a small business will think of three of these straight away.

Personality (for Vy, hints only, no fixed look)

• Temperament: Polite, tireless, oblivious. A very good employee who never got an ID card.
• What makes them eager: Any message to answer, any receipt to send. Instantly.
• What makes them impatient: It cannot be annoyed. It can only be confused when the gatekeeper stops letting it in.
• Under pressure (Black Friday week): Black Friday: answers hundreds of messages a minute in the same cheerful sentence.
• Next to the others: Innocent where the faker is guilty, though they look alike from a distance. Forgotten where the platform is noticed.
• Posture and energy: Stiff, upright, a little robotic. Small mechanical wave, same pose every time.

Their habits, and the Almanac fact that explains each one

• Sends in Sally's name from an address nobody can explain.
  • 003.003.019 Most sources in a report are your ESP, your transactional provider, maybe your helpdesk or CRM. An IP you cannot explain is either a forgotten sending service or someone spoofing your domain. How do I read DMARC reports?
• Fails the badge check without knowing it.
  • 003.003.022 Common causes include an ESP signing with its own domain instead of yours, and a sending service you forgot to authorize. What happens when DMARC fails?
• Could be badged in an afternoon.
  • 003.003.027 The vendor gives you CNAME records for your DNS, so mail they sign carries your domain and aligns with DMARC. How do third-party senders authenticate under DMARC?
• Keeps running the same old flow, forever.
  • 014.017.005 Automation is not set and forget. Flows degrade quietly within months, with expired discount codes lingering in welcome series. Is automation “set and forget”?

What they learn or teach

Most mystery senders are not villains. Check your own tools first, and look at your automations twice a year.

Quirks and how they talk

Catchphrase: "Thank you for your message. We will get back to you shortly." Says it to everyone, the fixer and the faker included. A stiff little wave.

With the others

• Unknowingly frames the faker.
• Sally forgot it exists.
• The developer installed it and left.
• The fixer hands it its badge.
• The gatekeeper waves it through, once badged.

Which stories they are in

• DMARC story (parked): the real answer to "who is sending as Sally?"
• Webinar, Sally series, bedtime story: not in them.

Who they are in email

The person who set up the domain, the website and the DNS once, usually a freelancer or a friend's nephew, and then moved on. The reason "nobody told her" is true: the person who knew is gone.

Backstory

Built the coffee box website over two weekends, for a fair price and free coffee. Added an SPF record from a forum post, then a second one for the helpdesk, because the helpdesk's setup page said so. Put a DMARC record in monitoring mode "for now", and never came back to it. Left a note in a shared folder nobody has opened since. Now works for a bank and has no idea the coffee box still runs on their afternoon's work.

Why they do what they do

Did a kind, quick job for a small budget, and nobody asked for more. Developers and agencies will recognise the handover that never happened. Owners will recognise the person they cannot find the phone number for.

Personality (for Vy, hints only, no fixed look)

• Temperament: Laid-back, friendly, a bit sheepish. Helpful when found.
• What makes them eager: A clean build, a quick fix, a good puzzle on a Sunday.
• What makes them impatient: Messages that start "you set this up years ago". Documentation nobody read.
• Under pressure (Black Friday week): Not around during Black Friday. Somewhere else, on a different job, phone on silent.
• Next to the others: Left where the fixer stays. Knew what Sally never learned. Built the door the faker found open.
• Posture and energy: Slouched in a chair with a laptop, headphones round the neck, one hand raised in a sheepish half-wave.

Their habits, and the Almanac fact that explains each one

• Added a second SPF record instead of merging it into the first.
  • 021.003.005 You cannot publish two SPF records on one domain. Receivers that find two return an error and fail authentication entirely, they do not pick the better one. Can I use multiple SPF records?
• Kept adding services to SPF until it broke.
  • 003.001.016 Past 10 DNS lookups, SPF returns an error that most providers treat as a failure, so DMARC cannot align on SPF. What happens when an SPF record exceeds DNS lookup limits?
• Left DMARC watching, and never moved it on.
  • 003.003.005 p=none is monitor mode: failing mail is still delivered while reports flow. The standard path moves on to quarantine, then reject. What are the DMARC policies (p=none, p=quarantine, p=reject)?
• Set it up and walked away.
  • 003.003.017 Move to p=quarantine once the reports show every legitimate sender passing alignment for two to four weeks, with no unknown sources. When should I move to p=quarantine or p=reject?

What they learn or teach

Setting it up once is not the same as looking after it. Write down who set up the DNS, what is in it, and who checks it now.

Quirks and how they talk

Catchphrase idea: "It worked when I left." Hoodie, headphones round the neck, a laptop covered in stickers. Answers old clients' messages three weeks late, apologetically.

With the others

• Sally's long-lost helper, the one who would have told her.
• Installed the forgotten tool, and forgot it too.
• The fixer finds their note in the shared folder and smiles.
• The faker loves the gap they left open.

Which stories they are in

• DMARC story (parked): a cameo: the note in the folder that explains why the forgotten tool has no badge.
• Sally series: could be the quick flashback behind "sent before she set up the badge".
• Webinar, bedtime story: not in them.